| I'm pregnant. |
[23 Jun 2006|02:31pm] |
I'm going to be a mommy on January FEBRUARY 2nd.
[ i miscalculated or some shit.]
[ fuck my ob for not telling me in the first place.]
Ultrasound yesterday proved it. I heard my babies heartbeat.
I'm seven weeks and three days pregnant.
Keep the negative shit to yourself, I'll delete every negative thing I get and not even give you the pleasure of a reply. Don't bother.
I'm a loaner now days and keep myself away from mostly everyone.
BUT if you do want to see me sometime, gimmie your number.
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[03 Jun 2006|04:37pm] |
i'm legal!
hotel last night with shawn & bbbbb.
club tonight with natalie + more!
i bought my first legal pack of cigarettes at eckerds.
i've been drunk for about a week straight.
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[31 May 2006|02:24pm] |
shawns dog is snoring behind me.
i still miss jensen. i love natalie & lauren.
i didn't "beat the shit" out of brett.
-if a 17 year old 5'3" girl could "beat the shit"
out of a 23 year old 6'4" man, that'd be amazing.
-but it's just not physically possible. period.
macon today with julie, perhaps.
i luhluhluhluh loooove that lady.
& one day, i will prove it.
until then, i'm going to go smoke a cigarette.
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[20 May 2006|01:20am] |
rug burn, bruises, scratch marks.
no place & no body to go home to at night.
no job anymore because i'm an idiot.
hotel right now. newports & delivered pizza.
free hbo, that's exciting.
i miss jensen.
June 3rd, I'll be 18.
I'm moving into cherokee summit.
alone.
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[27 Apr 2006|12:40pm] |
In the past month or so...
I broke up with Harrison. Wasn't working at all.
A side from that, he just wasn't Brett.
I got back together with Brett, we're doing good.
I got a job at the mall. Moved into Greenhouse apts.
I love my room mates, and the people who constantly visit.
Jensen & Brett, [& John when he visits] are just amazing.
I worked a double yesterday, almost died.
Mountain dew bottle that's the makeshift bong...
Cracks me up.
Bee problem outside the apartment. & tons of movies.
Brett's gone right now on his job, may not be back for several weeks. The bed's cold without him so I hope he hurries home. Plus I miss being woken up at 5:30 in the morning. In June we hope to get a new 2006 Jetta. That's how the cash flow is around here.
How has everyone been??
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[30 Mar 2006|06:07am] |
Two separate lives. I love this. Not.
People really should learn how to pick up a phone...
& CALL ME!! =] I miss a lot of people.
Work five out of seven days a weekkk. Awesome.
Paycheck this Friday, that's all going into savings.
Except MAYBE a few to buy my mommy dinner,
I promised herrrr. & Jennifer, Dewayne, & Michael are here.
Excellent. Harrison pissed me off, yelled & stuff.
Pwnt.
I'm so tired. I haven't been getting much sleep at all lately.
Tonight, I'm crashing. & nothing will drag me away from the bed.
I don't think I have a ride home from work today, MAYBE.
Maybe not. SO WHOEVER wants to hangout with me before I pass-out
should call me around 3:30. That would be great, I'm going to go
now & do that thing that Jennifer & I do.
& then make immense amounts of coffee.
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| Black cherry soda vs. white cherry soda. |
[20 Mar 2006|04:17am] |
Swayzes; Julie. Hairspray bitch. Watergun fight. Cigarettes. Veronica &Brett. Tyler doing the lawnmower in the pit. Screaming white power. Matt talking about aunt Jemima. Jensen. Some kids on acid spinning around. Too much fun for Swayzes to handle. & I loved it.
Veronica is a very sweet girl. Brett, I'll hurt you!! You better hold on to this one!!!!!
& don't you hurt her! Or I'll punch you in the back of the head! She's too cute.
Work Tuesday at 11:30am. Arm = blood+pus. Expresso Shakes. Marlboro lights. Internet upstairs is dead. FUCK.
I miss my mommy. // Let's hangout tomorrow!
I can't wait until ForeverDOWN comes back to Swayzes.
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| and now she's lying, lying! |
[18 Mar 2006|04:50pm] |
I wish I could drive away to the sunset
Back to the day that we first met
Only believe the things I wrote
I'll put it in a note, yeah
I'll cross my t's and dot my i's
Better say hello, don't you dare say goodbye
I'll write sincerely yours and sign my name
P.S. I love you forever and today
All the heartbreak all the pain
All your words you said in vain
And I'll never be the same
Today was rough. No sleep last night. I'm so drained. Shower & call Julie.
Then SLEEP. Finally, SLEEP.
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[17 Mar 2006|07:22pm] |
I'm starving! My insides are eating eachother. If anyone would like to buy me a veggie blimpie sandwhich, I swear I'll love you forever & a day. Also, I have $3 on it, just no car to get me there. & Don't you dare make me settle for a TV Dinner! PLEASE,GOD, NO!
I woke up at 6pm, now that's what I call sleeping in. And Sunday I'm going to mass, & signing up for my First Communion. I'm nervous, yet excited at the same time.
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[17 Mar 2006|01:32am] |
I have terrible headache. I'm changing my life styles today. Cut out the bad, & bury it along beside my fucking run down heart. Who needs it anyways?
Today is [finally] my day off. & everyone knows I am sleeping in. THANK GOD!
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| if i can catch you. |
[15 Mar 2006|08:12pm] |
At Starbucks there was this older couple playing a board game I wasn't familiar with, so I watched for a second. Then noticed their Starbucks cups. The guy had a smaller cup. Maybe cause he wasn't as thirsty, or maybe the lack of dollars he got a smaller one so she could enjoy her's more. Whatever the reason, I focused on this long after we left, & I'm not sure why.
I should stop paying so much attention to every single thing around me.
On another note, Julie & I [along with her puppy Rosco] attacked a bunch of swans today at Dupree park. Swans are gross & loud. One of them was pregnant, that or just insanely obese. They tried to retaliate, but we ran before that could happen. Who HONESTLY wants to get their ass kicked by a Swan? Not me.
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| I live my life in the shadows of the things I try to hide. |
[14 Mar 2006|04:26pm] |
First day on the job. I sliced my finger & bled. My feet hurt. Pandapixel. & I smell funny... not a bad funny... just ... funny. I'm craving a cigarette. & I need to take a nap. It was fun though. I'm glad I work with Cory & Keith. Entertainment all day long.
Time to change & get a cigarette.
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[12 Mar 2006|11:13pm] |
Just got back home-ish. Jennifer & I gauged our ears to a 10 last night. Mmm, dried blood.
I start work Tuesday.
I got $16 lipstick from Victoria's Secret, which is amazing.
I'm about to give up meat for Lent, I know, I'm late.
But it's better now than waiting another year. No meat until easter!
I love Catholicism, really.
( Losses. )
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[11 Mar 2006|08:56pm] |
Last night I was in Kennestone Hospital for about 5 hours. I was having extreme chest pain, blurred vision, nausea, dizziness... everything. I sat there for that long & had an EKG, Chest X-ray, & blood work done just to find out that I had a huge anxiety attack.
I jinxed myself. LAME.
I don't know how to control it.
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[10 Mar 2006|02:39pm] |
Hah. My webcam is my best friend. & so is this new foundation I got.
[See what I mean about this money thing! I suck.]
I went to the doctor & found out that I have staph infection. SHIT!
I'm on three different pills now. & one makes me allergic to sunlight.
He said if it doesn't clear up in like 3 months, or if it gets worse,
I'll probably be in the hospital.
( +4 Photographs. )
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[09 Mar 2006|06:03pm] |
| [ |
music |
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"Come sail away" |
] |
My mom bought me new clothes due to the fact that I have a job now. Yeah, J-O-B. THANKS CORY! I'm working at Quizno's now on Towne Lake. I think I start Monday or Tuesday? Exciting. W-4 forms confuse me.
Last night I had to drink three glasses of wine to get to sleep, & then came the slight panic attack. Anxiety will probably be the death of me.
ALSO, my grandfather is doing much better. They've moved him out of CCU & he's in a room!!! I saw him a few days ago & he said I look like my grandmother with my short auburn hair. That was sweet. =]
I'm going to go scrapbook now & wait until it's 7 so I can call people. Oh, the fine times of having a cell phone. It's taken 17 years to get one & now I'm accidently running up the bill on stupid ring tones, & internet fee's. Yikes!
Someone call me today. Do it!
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[08 Mar 2006|09:30pm] |
I'm so bad with money. & so stubborn.
I should have taken more notes from you, & listened to you more.
Regaurdless of it all, I know now that you were right.
I was to proud to admit that I was wrong. But I was wrong more times than I can remember. Just know the bedsheets are heavy from regrets. I simply cannot sleep anymore.
I have three doctors appointments. Two tomorrow & one Friday. Phsyciatrist, Dentist, & Primary doctor. I hope someone can tell me something about this open wound under my arm. Something's not right.
A lot of things aren't right. But I'm getting better at molding myself.
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